P is for Pacification. Not in the sense of “Let’s go pacifying that country by bombing its civilian population”.
Pacification is the extension of making peace; while making peace is the act, pacification is the moment you realise peace is back.
It is watching the waves gently slowing down after a storm, the horizon once again calm and reassuring.
It is healing after the pain, a soothing voice talking you to sleep, your eyes still red for crying.
It is the apotheosis of letting go.
It is when after all the troubles, all the suffering, the mistakes, the second guessing, the grief, you look at yourself in the mirror: and your eyes are once again your eyes, and there are no tears trapped behind them. It is looking at yourself and breathing, no grief stuck in your throat. It is looking at yourself, somehow new, maybe more conscious, maybe a bit scarred by the experience, but still, or rather once again, yourself.
It is looking at yourself in the mirror, smile and say “Welcome back, I have missed you”.